Stsenka Nomera Dlia Novogodnei Elki U Starsheklassnikov -

The scene is set in a high school assembly hall, decorated with a slightly lopsided Christmas tree and silver tinsel. Characters:

(Ignoring her) Picture this: The clock strikes twelve. Instead of a gift, a giant envelope falls from the sky. It’s the university entrance results.

(Yawns) My reality is already cold and hard. I spent four hours on physics homework and three hours wondering why I exist. Can we just throw some tinsel on Gleb and call it a day? stsenka nomera dlia novogodnei elki u starsheklassnikov

(Horrified) No! We are seniors! We need to show the younger kids that we are mature. Max, take off the glasses. Gleb, put on the traditional beard.

"Did you all complete your 500-page practice tests? Did you sleep more than four hours? No? GOOD. Because Santa only brings caffeine pills and existential dread this year!" ANYA: (Sighing) Why can’t we just be normal? The scene is set in a high school

(Checking her watch) Okay, people! This is our last New Year’s skit before graduation. It needs to be profound. It needs to be Shakespearean. It needs to represent the transition from childhood to the cold, hard reality of adulthood!

Dressed as a very unconvincing, trendy "Father Frost" (Ded Moroz) in sneakers. It’s the university entrance results

Overachiever, holding a massive stack of "New Year’s Resolutions."