Large Birds, Spiders And Momtwo And A Half Men ... Online

“Thanks, Mom,” Charlie muttered, pouring a double. “I guess there’s always a bigger predator in the room.”

Charlie Harper’s beachfront Malibu deck was usually reserved for expensive scotch and questionable decisions, but today it looked like a deleted scene from a low-budget horror movie.

“It’s a majestic creature of the sky, Charlie! And the spider is just a misunderstood arachnid,” Alan chirped, adjusting his beige windbreaker. “Besides, I’ve named the bird 'Freedom' and the spider 'Leggsy.'” Large Birds, Spiders and MomTwo and a Half Men ...

Perched on the railing was a the size of a small aircraft. Next to it, a massive Tarantula —likely a runaway from a neighbor’s exotic collection—was casually making its way toward Charlie’s discarded sandwich.

The doorbell rang. It wasn’t the date. It was . “Thanks, Mom,” Charlie muttered, pouring a double

The condor immediately took flight in terror. The spider curled into a ball and rolled off the deck into the sand.

“Alan, I’m telling you, it’s staring at me,” Charlie hissed, peering through the glass sliding door. And the spider is just a misunderstood arachnid,”

“There,” Evelyn said, turning around with a sharp smile. “Even Mother Nature knows better than to overstay her welcome in my presence.”