"A basset hound who thinks mud is a fashion statement," Arthur grunted.

"Alright, Toby," Arthur said, pulling out his credit card. "Let's see if this smart machine can outsmart my dog's mud puddles."

"I need a washer," Arthur said, patting the cold lid of the GE machine. "A simple one. My last one lasted twenty years. This one has more buttons than a space shuttle."

Arthur looked up to see a young man in a blue polo shirt. His nametag read Toby . Toby had the eager, caffeinated energy of someone who actually understood what 'smart diagnosis' meant.

Arthur paused. He had, in fact, forgotten a load of towels just last Tuesday. He looked at the price tag, then back at Toby. "Is it reliable? I don’t want to see you again in two years."

"Then you want this," Toby said, tapping the control panel. "It’s got Microban antimicrobial technology. Keeps the tub from smelling like... well, wet basset hound. Plus, it has built-in WiFi."